Tips for Moderating the Morning Mayhem

I am reading The World Needs Your Kid: Raising Children Who Care and Contribute by Craig Kielburger (from Free the Children), Marc Kielburger and Shelley Page.  It's pretty good - I'll be posting a review of it when I'm done.

One thing that caught my eye is that the first of their "100 Tips to Raise Global Citizens" is:

Early to Rise. Set the alarm twenty minutes early to avoid the morning rush.  With luck, you'll spend less time hustling your kids out the door and more time checking in with them about the day ahead.  Connecting leads to caring.

So true!  I have come to the same conclusion - when I rush in the morning, I get impatient.  When I am impatient, I am not the kind of mom I want to be, and it sets me up for a less-than-ideal day.

However, I've taken a different route to achieving harmony in the mornings.  I don't mind getting up early - in fact, I often set my alarm for an hour before I really need to be moving - but I don't like to get the kids up even one minute earlier than I have to.  I find that squeezing every minute of rest out of them that I possibly can is in everyone's best interest.  So, instead, I've decided to do as much preparation for the coming day as I can the night before.

After baths, when the kids are in their pj's and winding down with a book or some other quiet play (or loud, running play!) I try to accomplish the following:

1.  Shower.  I know this doesn't work for everyone - my husband can't start his day without a shower in the morning - but for me it has made all the difference.

2.  Set out my clothes for the next day.  This way, I get out of bed, brush my hair, get dressed, and - voila! - I'm ready to rock and roll in less than five minutes!  I also get Harry's clothes ready the night before.  As for Bess' clothes...

3.  Have Bess set out her clothes for the next day.  We set up a little morning task station in her room with a mirror, a few hooks for her clothes, and a list of things she needs to do (see photo above).  This has eliminated quite a bit of morning conflict since any arguing negotiating about wardrobe has already been done.

4.  Make lunch.  I know a lot of moms like to send their kids to school with a warm lunch, but for me, that's just too much trouble in the morning.  Instead, when I'm putting away dinner, I make the next day's lunch at the same time, which often includes leftovers.  I also often try to set up some snacks for Harry's morning while I'm at it.

5.  Crock pot breakfasts!  This one has been a new addition to the repertoire, and is my favorite tip for making the mornings run more smoothly.  I like to give my kids a hearty, warm breakfast, but even something as simple as instant oatmeal can take more time than I'm willing to spare.  So now, I set up a simple crock pot breakfast the night before and either turn it on last thing before bed or have John turn it on when he's turning in for the night (he works nights so this is convenient for us), but really, even if you set an alarm to get up and flip the switch at 2 am, I think it still saves you sleep and energy in the long run.

What are your tips for making the morning a prelude to a great day?

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Safety at What Cost?

This past weekend we attended a Scandinavian Festival at a local park. The playground was unlike most of the other (plastic, ultra-safe) playgrounds in our area. This one had things like swings with chains, metal monkey bars, and seesaws, none of which can be found at many, if any, parks these days, at least around here, though when we've traveled I've noticed that they are more common in other areas. I guess the risk of lawsuits and intolerance for any level of risk whatsoever are pretty extreme here.

I must say, I felt a little uneasy with my kids playing around the seesaws, afraid that they would get "cherry bombed" or whacked in the face as they tried to maneuver on and off. As I tried to assure myself that I managed to survive my childhood despite many hours spent seesawing with my sister and neighborhood friends, I watched with interest as the kids tried to figure the whole thing out. As pretty young children, we were able to negotiate the physics of levers pretty easily, figuring out who needed to sit where to make the whole thing work.

These kids did not have this fundamental understanding of the physical world. I watched as parents tried to explain it - but it isn't something that can be explained, at least not easily. It needs to be experienced. And when we strip down our kids' experiences to include only that are without risk, we also deprive them of so many opportunities to learn about themselves and about the world.

So, I'm certainly not advocating that we throw all caution to the wind. I'm all for airbags and carseats and seatbelts and all that kind of thing - but I think some sort of cost/benefit analysis is in order. What are we willing to sacrifice in order to protect our kids from some bumps and bruises?

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Wordless Wednesday

I know I'm a couple days early for my photo post, but this is just too precious not to share:

I am breaking my promise to myself to never become one of those mommy bloggers who just gushes about how cute her kids are - but seriously? Bess reading bedtime stories to Harry? Does it get any better than this?

I am considering moments like these to be my reward for my attachment-style parenting. ;)

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

First Day of School

Today was Bess' first day of Primary 1, which is the first step of Kindergarten at Wellspring Community School. To hear her tell it, today was not, in fact, the first day of school because they only spent an hour there. But during that hour they selected their symbols (which are used to identify the students to pre-readers - Bess selected a ladybug in honor of her friend Claire who is not attending Wellspring this year) and examined the new and improved layout of the classroom. Not only that, but they identified things that were the same as last year with an S and things that were different, which was almost everything, with a D. So they worked on some phonics and letter recognition in addition to reacclimating themselves to the environment.

It is not a short trip to overstimulated for Bess, but today she was just out of control excited. She LOVES school, and could not wait to see her teacher Anne and her friends, and to meet some new friends too. We constantly have the discussion in our home whether private school is worth the money when we live in such a "good, high-achieving" school district. That was, in fact, one of the reasons we chose to move to this particular town when we moved almost six years ago. Since then, though, my thinking about school and its goals (actual and ideal) has changed quite a bit. For me, right now, yes - it is worth every penny. It is worth it for my daughter to learn in a close-knit community where they learn about cooperation and responsibility to a group in addition to the academics, for her to be excited to go to school and excited to learn new things, to be excited to show her friends a beautiful spider web on the fence complete with a meal-in-waiting for the architect of the web.

Would she gain these things in public school. Maybe. But then I would have lot less control over who she spends so much of her time with, and her experience would be much more variable from year to year. In some ways that could be good, I guess, but for a child who does not deal with transition and direction that well I think it would probably do more harm than good. For now, I'm so, so happy to be where we are.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Lookie Here!

Here's our family photo for the upcoming school year!

I'm scrambling trying to get ready for the first day of school tomorrow, but if you're looking for some Ahimsa Mama reading, check this out on the Education Revolution blog - a plug for my thesis, which can now be found on the Institute for Humane Education's website!

Most parents have a shared interest in nurturing a just, compassionate, peaceful, sustainable world for their children, and raising children who are kind, conscientious, happy and healthy can be a special challenge in today’s world. Passionate about humane parenting and seeking shared support and connection, IHE M.Ed. graduate Kelly Coyle DiNorcia dedicated her Independent Learning Project (ILP) to creating a handbook for parents of young children (ages 18-36 months) to help them raise children with a humane ethic toward other people, other animals, and the earth.

According to Kelly, her handbook “guides parents, other family members, and other caregivers through the five elements of Humane Parenting….Specific techniques for dealing with common parenting concerns such as food choices, gift-giving occasions, literature and media selections, and teaching children about diversity are given.  The handbook concludes with a list of suggested books, periodicals, weblogs and organizations that parents are encouraged to consult for more information.”

Click the link below to download (The handbook begins on page 27 of the PDF file.).

http://humaneeducation.org/documents/view/279

Swing on over and give it a look!

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Sunday Link Love

Some of my favorites from around the web these past couple of weeks

• Is "Clicktivism" Ruining Activism? :: New Society Publishers Blog
• Kind Kids: Getting Children to be Helpful Might be Easier Than We Think :: Greater Good
• Everything on The Artful Parent :: especially Empowering Our Daughters Through Non-Traditional Princess Books, Connecting Children's Art at Creativity, and Peace Through Art? The International Child Art Foundation Says Yes!
• Waldorf Thoughts :: Young in the Mountains

Have a great day!

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

It was the best of outings, it was the worst of outings...

We spent last weekend in Rochester, New York, and while John worked I planned fun and exciting things to do with the kids. I feel like it isn't fair to drag them along on these trips unless I make it about them, at least a little bit.

On Friday we visited the Strong National Museum of Play, which I've been looking forward to since we missed it on our last trip.

It was everything I hoped it would be - in fact, I'd say it is worth a trip to Rochester in and of itself if you're a children's museum addict like I am!

There was so much to do for kids of all ages, and things were very reasonably priced. There was an area with all sorts of cooperative games, which kids of all ages could participate in.

There is a fairy tale room, a Sesame Street room, a butterfly garden, a superhero room, a Berenstain Bears room, a classic toy museum upstairs, a train ride and a carousel, cozy reading nooks and books all over the place...I could go on and on, but better you go see it for yourself! Bess describes it as "the coolest place ever!" and I am inclined to agree with her.

Then, instead of following my instincts to go back there on Saturday, I decided to take the kids to Seneca Park Zoo.

I've written before about my zoo ambivalence, but yet I still find myself going back - sort of like taking both kids into Manhattan or eating deep fried Oreos, I need to do it every once in awhile to remind myself why I don't like to do it.

First of all, the setup was really weird. It was long and narrow, so it was a long walk out to see the furthest (and coolest) animals, and a loooooong walk back. Harry chose that day to express his terrible two-ness, and let me assure you, dragging a screaming toddler outside in the heat around is not so much fun. In fact, I'm noticing a pattern here - Harry was miserable the last time we went to a zoo, too. Hmmmmm...

Anyway, the zoo is not one of the better ones around. The enclosures are small and the animals are alone or in small groups, smaller than they would normally be found in were they living in the wild. There are a lot of primates there, which I find especially painful to see.

I get the whole education/preservation thing, and I believe that zoos can be done in a relatively humane way with respect for the animals who live there. I can't exactly say I don't support that, though I also can't exactly say that I do. I believe that the people who work in zoos love the animals and the environment, and work very hard. Some places are sanctuaries that rescue and rehabilitate animals who could not live in the wild, and I think that can be pretty cool. However, I also think that putting money into maintaining these populations, and their habitats, in the wild where they belong would be a better use of our resources. That, and I simply can't get past the lives of the individual animals who live their lives in isolation and captivity in the name of education.

What do you think?

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

{this moment} - Strong National Museum of Play

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. Hosted by
soulemama

From the Dancing Wings Butterfly Garden

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my websitewww.beautifulfriendships.net.

10 Great Books for Kinesthetic Kiddos

Okay...confession time.

My daughter does not like to read.

There, I've said it.

She likes to be read to at bed time while she teeters on the edge of sleep, and she loves looking at pictures in books and going to the library (more to do puppet shows and puzzles than to look at books, to be sure). I am told that she enjoys story time at school, too. But since she was very, very small she simply will not sit through an entire story.

Long before entering motherhood, I collected children's books. I loved going through the children's section in used book stores and garage sales, finding volumes that had a "good message". I imagined that my future children would sit at my knee, listening to these stories and absorbing the humane messages they presented. Reality proved to be much different, with Bess refusing to sit through even the first page of any book, and Harry only interested in books about things with wheels.

Over time, I've started to change my ideas about the purpose of children's literature. No longer did I see it as yet another opportunity to immerse my children in my values. Now I see it is a chance to expose them to the written word, to different ideas, and to visual aesthetics. Note that I do still take pains to ensure that the books we choose at least do not contain unwanted images, and I do try to find books with diverse characters - I haven't completely abandoned my ideals!

For my little kinesthetic learner I have started looking for books that encourage movement, which have been surprisingly hard to come by. Here are ten of my favorites, though:

I Ain't Gonna Paint No More by Karen Beaumont, Illustrated by David Catrow

This is a really cute story/song about a child who loves to paint anything and everything. Children can sing along with the book and point to the different body parts as they get painted by the mischievous little artist.

Ballerina Flying by Alexa Brandenberg

Anything ballerina is a sure winner in my house. This one is great because kids can practice the various ballet postures and steps along with the ballerina in the story. The opportunity to dress in pink frills while doing it is a plus.

Clap Your Hands by Lorinda Bryan Cauley

This is a fun book with lots of movements for children to follow along with. The text of the book is very lyrical and easy to read.

Wiggle by Doreen Cronin, Illustrated by Scott Menchin

Love Doreen Cronin! Doesn't that cover kind of say it all? Also look for Bounce and Stretch by this author/illustrator team.

Handsigns: A Sign Language Alphabet by Kathleen Fain

This book isn't a story, but the alphabet illustrations are lovely and each one is accompanied by the sign for that letter. This is a great book for introducing children to the American Sign Language alphabet.

Muncha! Muncha! Muncha! by Candace Fleming, Illustrated by G. Brian Karas

This is a fun story about a farmer who keeps building higher and higher walls to keep the bunnies out of his garden, but of course they outsmart him in the end. Children can hop and munch with the rabbits and build with the farmer.

In the Small, Small Pond by Denise Fleming

In this book, young readers can waddle like geese, doze like turtles, and twirl like whirligigs as they follow along with the story of the residents of a nearby pond. Also look for In the Tall, Tall Grass by the same author.

Shake My Sillies Out by Raffi, Illustrated by David Allender

How can you go wrong with a book that asks you to shake your sillies out and wiggle your waggles away?

How Can You Dance? by Rick Walton, Illustrated by Ana Lopez-Escriva

This book asks readers to use their bodies in unusual ways with questions such as: How can you dance if you can't move your knees? How can you dance when you're mad as a bee?

If You're Happy and You Know It (Jungle Edition) by James Warhola

This book by the nephew of Andy Warhol has colorful, friendly illustrations and a whole new repertoire for If You're Happy and You Know It, including stomp like and elephant, roar like a lion, and laugh like a hyena.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Winners...and Losers

Photo courtesy of flickr user bitzi

I was watching the news this morning (Morning Joe on MSNBC, for the record) as a number of guests discussed last night's Presidential address. I did not see it so I cannot comment on what was said, but one of the pundits this morning was insisting that President Obama does not support our troops because he failed to say that we "won" the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Apparently he felt that one little word coming from the Commander in Chief would make all the difference for troop morale.

Try as I might, I am having a hard time understanding what exactly it would mean to win this conflict. There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, so that is a moot point. Saddam Hussein was deposed and the Taliban is no longer in power (officially) in Afghanistan, so I guess that's good. We have not caught Osama bin Laden, and I have often heard the argument made that if anything, we have made more enemies and, presumably, terrorists than friends during the years that we've had troops in the area. We have not helped to build a particularly stable government in Iraq or Afghanistan, though from what I've read it sounds like we have helped to build the infrastructure there, and at least they have held elections. Whether those elections are legit, I'm not so sure.

If we have won, then who are the losers? The civilians - the children - who have lost their lives, or their limbs, or their homes, or their family members? Refugees who have had to move in order to avoid the conflict and unrest, the bombs and gunfire? Our own soldiers who have come home injured, or worse?

In war, is there ever, really, a winner?

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.