Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Shifting the Paradigm

I recently finished reading Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier. I'm not usually a novel reader, but I am trying to expand my literary horizons and it was recommended to me by a trusted friend, so I decided to give it a try.

It is the story of Mary Anning, a working-class girl from England who (true story, dramatized for the purposes of the novel) found the first complete fossil specimens that led scientists to begin to consider the idea of extinction and evolution in the nineteenth century. I had read a children's book about Mary Anning a couple of years ago, so it was interesting to read a more adult rendition of her life.

One of the things that struck me most about the book was the characters' understandings of the broad implications of Mary's finds. Up until that time, at least in Europe among Christian people, it was thought that the world was just two thousand years old and the Bible was a historical text describing the creation of the world in seven, twenty-four hour days. Finding the remains of creatures that no longer existed was a huge blow to the accepted order of things, because it implied that some creatures had become extinct - did God make a mistake when He created them? Why would he do that? It also implied that the world was much, much older than had previously been thought. Accepting these new ideas took a huge leap of faith and logic and did not come easily.

From the perspective of this twenty-first century blogger, the paradigm shift that occurred as a result of these finds is obvious, and happened quite quickly. Very few people today still believe in the Bible as a literal text, and though some people still cling to creationism it is no longer a scientifically-accepted explanation for the beginnings of the Universe. However, from the perspective of a nineteenth-century English peasant who was picking up curiosities on the beach after a storm, these realizations must have completely rocked her world to the core. Everything she believed, everything she thought she knew to be true, completely upended.

It just makes you think how quickly paradigm shifts really take place, even though they don't seem to be quick when you're in the middle of them. I believe we are at that point now on our planet, where a shift is taking place from consumerism to sustainability. It seems to be frustratingly slow, but really, it is happening fast enough, faster than we think.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Babywearing for Beginners

These last couple of weeks have been CRAZY around here! Bess has had camp for two weeks and so did John, so I've been trying to get her where she needs to be, manage Harry in the meantime, make sure everyone is fed, clean, and getting adequate sleep - and all with little help from the other parental unit while he's busy working very long days, leaving before we're up and coming home after we're asleep. We spent this past weekend in Rochester to end our whirlwind weeks, and now we have about ten days to recover before school starts.

In the meantime, I had a guest post over at Go Green Street on Babywearing Basics:

I don’t know how I would have gotten through my children’s early years without babywearing. My daughter was an extremely high-needs baby and demanded constant physical contact, and then when my son came along, I needed to keep with my then-high-needs toddler. I recall a trip I took with my kids to Washington D.C. where the baby spent the entire weekend in the sling, nursing, sleeping, and sightseeing. I never had to worry about dragging a stroller around and I had two free hands available for my daughter.

Visit here to read the entire post, and send the link to all your friends!

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Sunday Link Love

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Friday, August 13, 2010

{this moment} - Sussex County Fair

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. Hosted by soulemama


I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Kids in the Oven

No...not a "bun" in the oven!

I am reading Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg, and here is a quote that I just love:

When you bake a cake, you have ingredients: sugar, flour, butter, baking soda, eggs, milk. You put them in a bowl and mix them up, but that does not make a cake. This makes goop. You have to put them in the oven and add heat or energy to transform it into a cake, and the cake looks nothing like its original ingredients. It's a lot like parent unable to claim their hippie kids as their own in the sixties. Milk and eggs look at their pound cake and say, "Not ours." Not egg, not milk, but Ph.D. daughter of refugee parents - a foreigner in her own home.

How often, as parents, do we feel like this with our kids? How often do we look at them and marvel at who they are becoming, but at the same time recognize that they in fact bear little resemblance to us, or who we thought they would be, or who we tried to make them?

I think this issue is especially difficult for humane parents. We are so committed to our values, and we so strongly want our children to grow up to share them, to fight for social justice and sustainability. Many of us struggle with the impact that simply having a child will have on the planet and our shared resources, and commit to raising our children to have as little impact as possible.

But the truth is, of course, that just as many of us rejected our parents' values and chose our own, so too can our children easily grow up and choose to become, say, the CEO of BP or a researcher for Monsanto. How do we reconcile ourselves with the fact that, in the end, we have no control over who our children will become as they grow?

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

More Pottery!

Now if I could just figure out how to photograph the stuff so you could see what it really looks like...











An inukshuk, by the way. I collect them, and now I make them too!




















I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Monday, August 9, 2010

We Tried Letterboxing

During our visit to Dinosaur State Park in Rocky Hill, Connecticut last week, we stumbled across a letterbox on our hike and checked it out. This, combined with the letterboxing post at Wee Folk Art this past week, inspired us to give it a try - officially - over the weekend.

Well...it was okay. We looked online and found a multi-part series of letterboxes near our home, packed up our supplies - log books for each of the kids, and a stamp and inkpad for each of them as well - and headed out to see what we could find. We got to the first site near the Delaware Water Gap and found the spot easily enough, though it took some searching to find the actual box.

Once we found it and got it open, we discovered that it was leaky and the contents were moldy and really quite gross, and there was a snake living in the box. Needless to say, I think Bess is pretty scarred by the experience and isn't likely to want to repeat it any time soon. Quite honestly, neither am I. I like nature and all that, but opening a box full of stinky mold and a very surprised snake was simply more than my nerves could take yesterday. It was pretty yuk. And disappointing since we didn't actually get to stamp our books after all that looking.

However, all was not lost. Apparently, rocks covered with graffiti are very exciting when you're two and five. The kids thought they were artistic masterpieces and spent quite some time checking them out, climbing on them, and generally running around. Ah....

So, for those who are looking to try this activity, I have a few words of advice. One is, try to select a box that has been recently hidden or found to minimize the chances that it is missing or damaged. Two is, try to make sure that you are not overtired and cranky for your first letterbox outing, or you may not find it enjoyable to poke around in the woods getting eaten by mosquitoes for an hour trying to find the thing. (Tip 2A: consider bringing and applying bug spray.) Three is, be flexible - actually, this is not just letterboxing advice but parenting and life advice. What you expect to get out of an activity is rarely what you end up with in the end!

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Sunday Link Love

Have a great day!

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Time to Move the Paints!

I am a big believer that children should have free access to art supplies. Really, I am. Stamps on the wall, clay stuck to the floor, glitter all over - I may not love it, but I tolerate it and clean it up without complaint. But I think the time may have come to move some of the supplies out of toddler reach.


































The other day, we spent some time finger painting in the morning. Then, after we cleaned up and I went on to do some housework, apparently Harry decided that he was not quite done with the activity. He proceeded to empty an entire bottle of red tempera paint on the hardwood floor (not carpet, thankfully - that's why we don't actually have any carpet) and smeared it all over the dining room and himself. Red paint everywhere is simply more than I can bear. I'm trying to think of a place where I can put it in Bess' reach but not Harry's - but those places are pretty scarce these days.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Friday, August 6, 2010

{this moment} - Dinosaur State Park, CT

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. Hosted by soulemama





I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in sustainable living and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Mosque at Ground Zero

Photo courtesy of Flickr user amerune

If the traffic I've seen on Twitter is any indication, the Islamic cultural center being built near Ground Zero in New York City is what's on everyone's minds. Most of the comments I have seen have not been in support of this project, to say the least. Even the Anti-Defamation League opposes the construction.

At the risk of being seen as un-American (one of the milder epithets being hurled around with regard to this issue), I would like to come out in support of such a project. Or, maybe not support of it, but definitely not opposition to it. Quite frankly, I am a little confused by all the brouhaha surrounding the decision to let construction commence. As I see it, it was not Muslims who attacked us on 9/11. It was extremists who happened to be Muslim. Islam, like all the Abrahamic religions, is built on a foundation of kindness and service. Anyone could take some of the teachings literally or out-of-context to justify killing thousands of innocent people (Crusades, anyone?), but that has much to do with those individuals and nothing, really, to do with the religion in which they choose to cloak their misanthropy.

When the 9/11 attack occurred, I lived very close to Manhattan - so close, in fact, that I was able to see the towers fall from a nearby park. I was personally affected by the events of that day. Clearly, I sympathize with the people who have suffered the most from the 9/11 attacks, including those who lost loved ones, the survivors, and the workers who cleaned up the wreckage. I would never advocate any course of action that would cause them pain. The Anti-Defamation League uses that as their rationale for opposing the construction of a mosque near the site, stating that it insensitive to the families to build such a center in that location. They cite as precedent the fact that Pope John Paul II asked a convent to relocate away from Auschwitz in order to properly memorialize those who were killed in the concentration camp there during World War II. However, I think that is a pretty specious analogy. No one ever accused the Catholic Church of committing the Holocaust, and the move was therefore simply sign of general respect by the religious community to the memory of the lost.

In this case, however, the conversation is not about general respect. Because the people who committed the attacks were Muslim, other Muslims should not be able to worship near the site, but people of other faiths are welcome to build their houses of worship in the neighborhood if they wish - so the argument goes. Please...let's start building bridges of respect and understanding. Let's support the victims of the 9/11 attacks, including the Muslims who have suffered discrimination since that day. Let's worry less about where they are building their mosques and focus more on understanding what goes on inside them.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in issues of personal balance and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dor-meow-tory Living

Months ago I had written about my dog, Sarah, who had developed bone cancer. We lost her in December, and I am just now getting it together enough to write about her. She had been a part of our lives for almost thirteen years, my trusted companion, muse and teacher, and I miss her very much.

As it turns out, our dog Chryssi missed her even more than I did. Chryssi has some orthopedic problems that require us to keep her very lean, but she was getting depressed and lethargic and putting on weight. The house seemed empty - even John agreed. Just as we started contemplating the possibility of another dog, we saw an article in the newspaper about a dog at up for adoption at the local shelter. As soon as I saw his photo I put on my coat and headed over to see him.

At the shelter they told me he was a five-year-old lab who had been found wandering around, wearing an electric collar, in northeastern New Jersey. He was healthy, had recently had his teeth cleaned, and has had knee replacement surgery. They kept him as long as they could, assuming that his people would show up, but they never did and the first shelter ran out of space so they transferred him to a shelter near my home. By that point he had developed pneumonia and was not tolerating shelter life well - not that any animal does, but it is especially hard on senior dogs (turns out he's actually closer to ten years old than five). It was love at first sight, and as soon as he recovered we brought him home.

They called him Hunter, but we changed his name to Touch of Grey (Grey for short). He is a dream dog, mostly. He came to us a ready-made family member. He was trained, gets along great with Chryssi, is awesome with the kids, he's mellow and doesn't bark, and is just a super-sweet dog.

BUT. There's always a but, isn't there?

Grey is not a cat person. He chases and basically terrorizes them. It's horrible and they have been pretty unhappy about the new state of affairs. I thought they would work it out, but he's been here for five months and things haven't improved much. The cats each have retired to separate bedrooms - they used to spend a lot of time together, but now they just want their own spaces. The Little Man prefers the master bedroom, where he can escape out of reach under the king-sized bed, can sit in the window when the coast is clear, and has access to a litter box. At first he was terrified, but now he's starting to adjust and comes out at night when the old dog is asleep.

And then there's Althea. Poor Ally Cat, she fought the good fight at first but then just got tired of dealing with it and retired to the kids' room. They have bunk beds with a trundle underneath where we store (make that stored) Bess' stuffed animals, and that is where Ally decided to live. When it became apparent that she has no intention of leaving the room at any time for any reason whatsoever including litter box use, we decided to set up an apartment for her in the trundle complete with, as Bess refers to it, "room service". We set her up with her food and water, a litter box, and her bed, and now she's much happier. She's even been coming out to say hi every now and then. We're working on reaching a detente, but for now, everyone seems to be safe and happy.

See that kitty in the shadows? That's Ally, enjoying her new digs.







And lest Chryssi feel neglected, I'm including a photo of her too.











I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in issues of personal balance and social justice. I have published a number of articles and given presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"Her Father Can Afford It"

Image courtesy of Flick user Dianna Williams

This morning I was watching the CBS Early Show when Charlie Gibson did a segment discussing Chelsea Clinton's wedding this past weekend. I don't ordinarily watch this kind of thing but I'm not feeling so great and was having a lazy and mindless moment. Anyway...He and his guest talked about how so many people were excited to see the photos of the happy couple after so much bad news lately - you know, oil spills and the like.

Charlie asked if the wedding was a bit over-the-top in today's economic climate, and the guest - forgive me, I don't remember her name, I guess she is some sort of entertainment correspondent or something - said that it was what is required for someone like Chelsea Clinton. After all, she said, "Her father can afford it. And she's his only daughter."

I am going to rant now, because I'm in a ranting kind of a mood. If you're not in the mood to read a rant, please come back tomorrow. Tomorrow I promise to post some warm fuzzies.

Her father can afford it? 'Scuse me?

How about her PARENTS can afford it? Last I checked, her mother has done pretty well for herself. Successful attorney, best-selling author, United States Senator, candidate for President, Secretary of State - not too shabby as far as resumes go. Yet the mother of the bride didn't even merit a mention on the news? How wrong is that? How far does a woman have to come to deserve some coverage, or does she have to stand in her husband's shadow even when she is one of the most powerful politicians in the world in her own right?

Okay, I'm done now.

Monday, August 2, 2010

How Can A Weekend at the Beach Be Depressing?









Mostly, it wasn't. On the contrary, it was actually quite relaxing and enjoyable. The weather was incredibly beautiful,









the kids were mostly well-behaved and in good humor and had some quality time with the grandparents,









and I even got to do some shell-hunting by myself for the first time in, oh, five years or so.









However, the shell-hunting was also a bit depressing. When I'm at the beach with my kids, I'm too busy supervising them, coaxing my toddler out onto the sand, making sure my daughter is using good judgement in the water - and not really paying much attention to the beach itself. But spending a half-hour or so with my eyes trained on the sand revealed more than shells. There was so much plastic! Water bottle caps, Silly Bandz, food wrappers, chunks of Styrofoam, it was everywhere! I didn't photograph it because it was just too yuk for me, I preferred to document the more pleasant views, but I do have to admit that it did put a damper on my alone time.

Reducing our plastic waste has been a struggle of mine for about a year now, since we participated in the Northwest Earth Institute's Ecochallenge last fall. I read Fake Plastic Fish religiously and am awed by the reduction that Beth has been able to make in her plastic use - and in her commitment to saving and sharing pictures of it each month! But it seems so ubiquitous, and I feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the idea of spending so much time thinking about it. And the truth is, I feel a little embarrassed by the prospect of calling up Internet vendors and asking them to use paper tape and padding for me.

Other things are tough, too. Take sippy cups for example. I know that in addition to the plasticness of plastic ones, it is also a health issue and that we should be using stainless steel drinking vessels. Not to mention how impossible the plastic ones are to keep clean, but I digress... I also know my family, and I know that we all (myself included) have a nasty habit of losing our water bottles. So, I am always balancing the desire to make the safe and green choice with the reality of replacing a $15 + stainless steel water bottle versus an under-$2 plastic one. My current compromise with that is to use the stainless steel ones when we're around - at home, in the car, visiting family or friends - so that loss is less of an issue, and having one or two plastic ones for the park, the library, or other places where I know there is a high probability of loss.

It's tough to know your limits, and not to beat yourself up about them. I'm working on it.

I am a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in issues of personal balance and social justice. I have published a number of articles and offer presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at my website www.beautifulfriendships.net

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Sunday Link Love


Some of my favorites from around the web this week:

Kelly is a scholar-turned-mother/activist who is interested in issues of personal balance and social justice. She has published a number of articles and offers presentations internationally on the topics of voluntary simplicity and humane parenting. Learn more at her website www.beautifulfriendships.net.